Money money money....

Money.... It is HONESTLY the ROOT of all EVIL! Nate and I have had so many fights this past week about money.... And the lack of it.



I had a freak out moment last night, where I felt completely helpless to the fact that we can't even seem to save month to month. We always end up really tight the weekend before a pay week ( he gets bi weekly checks) But yet we manage to get by. However, last night when I was so upset about the fact that we have enough money to do 2 loads of laundry and MAYBE put $15 into our truck in fuel, I just lost it.... I started thinking about all the planning that we have to do to have the wedding WE want.... To have the wedding that is about us and our love for each other... and yet I felt completely helpless to the fact that we haven't saved a dime for it. We try to put money away, we really do... but it seems like every time we have a bit set aside, something happens and we have to dive into it.

Is it wrong of me to want the wedding that I've always dreamed of? Now by NO Means do I want the million dollar price tag for my wedding... In fact our good friends got married in our COURT YARD of our apartment complex and it was BEAUTIFUL! Jenn made most of the decorations and favors and flowers, and her parents bought her, her dream dress, and Lee wore a suit, and it was so filled with love. I WANT THAT! I want to be able to walk down the isle,  with my father( wherever it may be) and see Nate and the other end smiling at me. I want ALL of our family there ( mine and his included). I want my sister and her wife there, and I want Emma to be there with me, because Nate loves us so much and wants us to be a family.

I just have to keep reminding myself that it's not about what you eat at the reception, or if there is a open bar, it's about celebrating the love between each other....
I will get to marry my best friend. I will get to say 'I DO" with my friends and family watching and I will get to dance with my Husband.....